I was deeply invested at work. Type A personality. Forced out of work because of my Fibromyalgia and Lupus. I still find myself being angry and bitter because of it. Especially because 100% of what I did at work was on WiFi, which I could have done at home but had no one who would stand up for me after my direct supervisor retired. I just wasn't ready to quit work. I -loved- what I did, and I was good at it. My guys overseas were grateful for my help and the way I'd go the extra mile for them. (sigh)
So, here I am at home. I've tried to find remote work, but most of it is in cybersecurity and I have no desire to do it. And sorting out the scams from the real work is nearly impossible anymore. Plus, the only thing I'm really interested in doing IRL I fear I can't do because of my physical weakness. Haven't given up the idea completely, and now that Spring is here, I may actually gain the courage to go to the Human Society and see if they have anything I can volunteer to do. I figure if I can walk my 120 pound dog, there must be something I can do! (LOL) I weigh 93 pounds, myself.
I do so miss the comradery of my friends from work. Lately, one of my friends from around the corner where I live, who also has Fibro, meets up with me and we walk my dog together. It's good exercise for both of us and we're a check on each other both for loneliness and for physical condition. While I'm prone to falling, she's prone to seizures. We're both prone to boredom, so when we're not dog walking, we check in on each other via FB or texting to make sure the other is OK.
But I have to admit, I have one really good friend I'm a bit disappointed in. I know she's mad busy at work, and I try to keep that in mind. But I go for weeks without hearing from her. I got her the job when she was riffed from her old one, and we worked together for over a decade. Best of times. I love her dearly, and I do so miss hearing from her. I don't think she knows how much it would mean to me if she'd just detour three blocks on her way home to just stop by long enough to say hi and give me a hug. But I don't feel I have a right to bring it up. How do you handle something like this without sounding needy and manipulative? (sigh)
On the good side of things, I have a needy grandson who stops by when he's in a bad way sometimes... like he did last night. Although I was in a bad flare and in bed, it's what I needed. It's good to be needed, even if you're feeling bad! And I got my grandson to where he was calmed down enough he slept all night with us, and even checked with me this morning to see if I wanted to go garage saleing this morning with him. Alas, the Flare from hell hadn't left me yet so I had to say "no"... drat! But it was nice to have options for once.
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