Feel like crying all the time

[nadine_mn]

I have depression, PTSD, ADHD, borderline etc..just the usual mixed bag of mental illness. I am on medication for the depression and ADHD (which in turn helps keep those borderline tendencies under control)

But goodness - the last few weeks I just feel like crying all the time. Sometimes I do start crying, but most of the time I have that exhausted feeling you get after having a good cry.

I know a lot has been post election depression - I really try to avoid the news, but I can't help myself.

I am one of those types of people who really draws their emotional energy from those around them - so I do try to avoid negativity. I used to work as a victim advocate - was great at it because I really like helping people and people always felt comfortable confiding in me. But, whoo boy I burned out quickly. So I haven't been working for the last several years - in part I think my mental health issues finally caught up with me and I needed to seriously deal with them and also in part because I am terrified of being in a work place again. Looking back, I see how easily I was drawn into any type of drama and every time I started a new job I would vow to not get caught up in it - but I am like a magnet for it. Oh, and when I say magnet I mean as soon as someone tells me that they have been wronged in some way, I am ready for battle. Someone hurt your feelings?, stand back and bring it on. Yeah, trust me when I say that my supervisors didn't appreciate that attitude, which is why 3 yrs is about the longest I have ever lasted in one place.


So lately, I have been a bundle of outrage over all the nastiness this election seemed to bring out - I mean every election does, but this one was really nasty IMO. I know I need to take care of myself and set boundaries and all that crap - but I don't know how.

I just go around feeling defeated and sad. I used to be able to be a little ray of sunshine wherever I went (corny I know, but seriously I really try to compliment strangers, leave little notes for service workers telling them to have a nice day or that they are doing a great job, I definitely try to smile and say hello to everyone), but now I just want to hide even more than usual. I don't leave the house much as it is, but now it's getting worse.

Oh man this sounds like an awful pity party, I'm sorry. I just feel so sad - weepy sad and don't know how to shake it.