Dumb Criminals: Shoplifter Hid Steaks In Colostomy Bag

[47of74]

A South Carolina man was taken in after shoplifting steaks in his colostomy bag;

Cops were called Tuesday afternoon to the Food Lion after employees reported that “an older white male” stole $75 worth of ribeye steaks. The workers said that the man drove away from the Roebuck store in a green Nissan (the license plate for which they copied down).

Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office deputies traced the car back to David Samuel Hoyt, 55, who they found at the residence of Angela Woody, who “lives on Shaw Rd. down from the Church of God.”

During questioning, Hoyt (seen above) initially denied stealing the steaks, but later “made a verbal confession” to the theft, saying that he put the meat in bags and walked out of Food Lion.

Woody, Hoyt’s 47-year-old girlfriend, offered a police lieutenant further details about her beau’s steak heist. “Mrs. Woody confirmed that Mr. Hoyt had taken meat from Food Lion by putting it in his colostomy bag,” a deputy noted.

Hey! These steaks taste like shi....

[BlueJazz]

1. Honey, Would you like your steak with or without feces?

[Initech]

7. Um.... without. Definitely without.

[Hoppy]

2. This should have more "recs" than the Bernie is ahead thread.

[meow2u3]

3. If the cops didn't get him, E. Coli poisoning probably would have

Who the HELL would hide food where shit belongs?

[LiberalElite]

4. readng the police report -

it states that he put the steaks in "canvas bags" it was several steaks and having seen a colostomy bag once (on an obese passenger on a bus whose shirt was not covering the bag) i can't believe all this was crammed into it. Whatever. I'm surprised this wasn't Florida Man.

[47of74]

5. Well it's not too far from Florida.

Must've traveled north via the Atlantic Ocean...

[Javaman]

6. Grocery Store Manager: Um...errr...Keep the stakes. nt