My 22-year old son is currently an EMT and in training to join the Fire Academy and become a full-time fire fighter. He lives at home and works 3 days a week (14 hour shifts) and goes to school for 2 full days a week in their training-bridge program. My wife was not happy about it, but I started charging him rent after his 21st birthday - but with the intent of simply stashing it in a money market account and returning it all to him as a wedding gift or down payment on a house. It was also to teach him spending discipline when you THINK you're making money but its because mom and dad subsidies make up a hella large chunk of your expenses (like room and board and utilities and everything beyond car payments and entertainment).
I wanted to make it $750 a month ($9,000 a year) but my wife decided that $500 a month was OK. Mama bear is always softer on the cubs that the draconian papa bear...LOL!! He and his girlfriend of 5 years are talking about marriage and plans for the future and I am begging them to wait, take their time and get some financial stability before doing anything. So far, they are doing so... but I can't say for how long that will last. 22 does not understand the language of 54, let alone the wisdom of age.
My oldest daughter ignored this same advice and moved out of the house at 22 to live with her then-boyfriend (whom I loathe as much as Trump). She would not be detered despite pleas from her mother and warnings from me that it was a major mistake and voluntarily setting herself up for a fall - and she is now living the "find out" portion of her life as a result. Her rent and expenses make her $65K a year income disappear every month (and that is WITHOUT kids or massive student loans - she only has $7K left to pay off at 27 years old - she is struggling to stay afloat ) but she is no closer to a down payment for a home or a safe emergency fund today than she was the day she moved out against our wishes. And the asshat former-boyfriend is nowhere to be found after decalring himself "polyamorous" and incapable of staying together in a monogamous relationship...a whole month before moving to Minnesota from Missouri to be with his 'other girlfriend'...
My other son is 20 until October, and is enrolled in a 4-year college and away at school, but he will get the same arrangement when he graduates, as will their 2 younger sisters (1 in college too and the other a HS junior). Life today for young people is hard enough, but damn if they don't all want to seemingly make it harder than necessary to prove they know more than their old head parents....
{sigh}
Guess they didn't fall too far from the tree on THAT account since I was moved out and on my own 100% at 22 years old and 30 days after college graduation. I just assumed that was the expectation. I am definitively offering my kids a choice to stay nearly free still, but trying to help them get a better start (or at least extra money to put towards loans or expenses in the future) instead of all going towards rent in a crash pad for friends and acquaintances to trash...
Life is hard enough. It doesn't need ANY help making things harder when there's options...
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