The Borowitz Report: America's Top Traitor: It's Official!

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/americas-top-traitor-its-official

After weeks of profiling the most heinous quislings of Trump’s fascist regime, I asked you, TBR readers, to choose the worst of the worst.

The ensuing vote was democracy at its finest, with over twenty thousand of you participating. Here is the final result, plus comments from readers explaining their choice of America’s Top Traitor:



Congratulations, Mitch McConnell —you are the most despicable quisling of them all!

In the final round of voting, Mitch faced a formidable opponent, Stephen Miller, but managed to run away with the contest, garnering roughly twice as many votes as the man known as Pee-wee German.

- more at link -

The Borowitz Report has run this poll for over a month, whittling down the final candidates for America's Top Traitor. For most of that time, McConnell had a lock on the win, among those who voted in this poll. (It was only open to paid subscribers of The Borowitz Report, and I'm one of them.)

I think we can all agree that Mitch McConnell is the Puke's Puke....

[sop]

1. Is he still alive?

Mitch was last seen wandering aimlessly through the Capitol, talking to himself, being led away by aides.

[FakeNoose]

2. He won't resign because if he did, he'd be replaced by a Democrat

The Governor of Kentucky is Andy Beshear, who I'm sure would take great pleasure in appointing a Democrat to fill out McConnell's term, if there should be a reason to do so.

On the other hand, McConnell's term is up next year and he's said he won't run for re-election. Dear Lord, McConnell is already 83 years old. He's a damn good reason why there should be term limits for the Senate.

[brush]

3. Yeah, he doesn't matter anymore since he's no longe Minority Leader.

And those buffering spells where he has to be led away. He's a nobody now.

Steven fucking Miller and his self-hating self is nearest to trump and has his ear. Bribe taking Bondi is next as she takes on the role of being trump's personal attorney instead of being the nation's attorney.

Kegsbreath and cosplay Noem are in the running also.

[Wiz Imp]

4. Sorry, but I have to disagree with the voters in this poll.

McConnell may have the longer record of traitorous behavior, but as of now, Stephen Miller is FAR MORE DANGEROUS and it's not even remotely close.

[SheltieLover]

5. Definitely the puke's puke

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

6. Yep, well earned,

He's who I voted for/