In Re: "Threesome" w/ sons, "YMCA", "manly" muscles and the like:

[PCIntern]

A while back I had made a lengthy post about a patient of mine whom I treated for forty years. He was a prominent judge in Philadelphia and lived into his late nineties. I related my experience with his evolving fronto-temporal dementia which began relatively early and his behavior worsened exponentially towards the end of his life.

When I went to visit him in the assisted living facility under duress from his daughter (another story for another time), the supervisor of the unit related a story to me which surprised me greatly.

The judge had always been an old-fashioned aggressive heterosexual male, making slightly inappropriate comments to my female staff, never crossing the line however, but annoying nonetheless. It had increased somewhat during the last three years in which he attended my office and the staff were used to him so they didn’t complain to me. The supervisor told me that the judge had become sexually aggressive and it wasn’t limited to females all of a sudden. He physically sexually assaulted one male attendant who, in the words of the supervisor, “went bananas” and found himself nearly striking the patient which would have been problematic for the both of them.

Given the patient’s verbal history and the evolution of his behavior, I would be willing to state that all of this vaguely gay stuff going on here is a further sign of the dementia progressing and is likely a diminishing of his inhibitions.

I will add that in my experience, men who tend to surround themselves with objectively beautiful women, who obsess in the manner Trump does or did about women’s looks, whose singular criterion for positivity of women is the appearance, have fashioned a glass house in an attempt to mask their desires which they dare not openly discuss. I believe that this is true in this case.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. Dementia is not a loss of previous inhibitions.

[PCIntern]

2. Fronto-temporal dementia often manifests itself as such

From Wiki: Behavior can change in bvFTD in either of two ways—it can change to being impulsive and disinhibited, acting in socially unacceptable ways;

[WhiskeyGrinder]

3. I'll clarify -- inhibitions are lost, but what is revealed is not someone's "true self" that has been lurking under the

surface for years.

[PCIntern]

4. That was my point in the last para of the OP

[ananda]

34. Trump's impulse control has obviously worsened in the past year.

He's a right mess.

[The_REAL_Ecumenist]

5. Hate to break it to you BUT the thing I laughingly referred to as my "FATHER", (another discussion for a very different

day) Anyway, he married an equally psychopathic nut in 1996. Her mother was in the late stages of Alzheimer's. She became VERY sexually aggressive to dear old PsychoPappy and when I say VERY aggressive sexually, as in being VERY frank about what she wanted, which evolved in her LITERALLY undressing and physically trying to "Get thang's Started". it was them that she was placed in a Memory care assisted living for what remained of her life. PCIntern ia ABSOLUTELY correct. Now, she didn't have FTD but I have been unlucky enough to hear about the relatives of loved ones and friends tearily recounting the latest "AGGRESSIVELY" inappropriate reactions from them, (what I am recounting was the experience of the patient's grandchildren). I think that in cantaloupe caligula's disgustingly vomit inducing comment is just enhancing and emboldening his behaviour.

This is one of the symptoms of brainmelting Dementias that make it even that much more difficult as not only the heartwrenching "Long Goodbye" but often watching their loved one becoming something their don't recognise.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

6. yeah, I wasn't clear. It is certainly a loss of inhibition but the idea that what emerges is the person's "true self" is

not what dementia is all about.

[PCIntern]

10. I'm sorry...

In part it IS what it’s about. Dementia doesn’t just mean that the person comes up with illusions and can forget where they are or who their spouse is. It literally means that the structure of the mind is diminishing and inhibition is a very significant aspect of our behaviors.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

16. People with dementia behave in ways that don't reflect their "true selves." Part of the despair around dementia is

hearing people with dementia saying things they never would have said when they were lucid -- racist, cruel, hateful things -- and thinking that these are true beliefs the people have actually had and kept hidden their whole lives. That's simply not the case.

People certainly lose inhibitions when they have dementia. But thinking that what's revealed is their "true self" is incorrect.

[PCIntern]

17. What is anyone's "true self"?

I would venture to say that virtually nobody knows the answer. If one examines one’s own dreams, one often is quite puzzled as to where “that” came from.

Anyway, have a nice day!

[WhiskeyGrinder]

20. lol ok

[Maeve]

31. Sometimes what they are revealing is how they grew up

The opinions that were taught to them, but ones they rejected and now "the tapes rewind" so to speak.
Hubby's grandmother once used a racist term she had learned for a flower, but was immediately mortified and told him to never, NEVER repeat that; it was wrong, it was terrible. Dementia patients can say such things without hitting that second stage of seeing it as wrong.

[ananda]

35. I agree.

My experience with dimentia is that they
get aggressive and manipulative, and want
to make you think you're at fault for
everything.

I learned the hard way.

[ColoringFool]

7. Hegseth, as well.

[mopinko]

9. he's gonna b super ugly when he gets old.

maybe his liver will give out b4 that.

[mopinko]

8. a former du'er had to put his dad

in a facility when he kept chasing the home aides around and taking his clothes off.

my mom started saying overtly racist/just mean shit that she never, ever wd have said. that included saying that i ‘dressed like a hillbilly’ but i was a good kid anyway. (not entirely untrue.) growing up, the meanest thing i ever heard her say about someone was they were weird.

i think we all have dark shit that pops into our brains, but that we dont rly feel/mean. i hope when my time comes, i dont end up like that.

[Melon]

11. Guys go for pretty girls because they're gay..🙄. Ahhhhh.....no

[PCIntern]

12. Yeah...let's paraphrase me wrongly:

Many men, in order to appear straight, only associate with beautiful women in order that people will assume he must be a heterosexual player. I knew many of these people, both in my practice and in my town of origin, New Hope, Pennsylvania.

Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter among many others including many Broadway stars, were regulars in my town. They would go to dinner out with stunning women who would then be driven home while the men went to their party. How do I know this? My mother was the summer and weekend hostess at Chez Odette’s restaurant and would make the call to the car services for the women and the men.

[Polybius]

14. Some maybe

But most of us like pretty woman because, well, we just like them. Just look at Derek Jeter. I can't find anyone uder a 9 on his dating list.

[PCIntern]

18. Did I say that men who date beautiful women are necessarily gay?

No. I did not. But I knew a lot of gay men who did.

Have a good day.

[harumph]

19. The practice (bearding) was as you say very common with some gay men of that generation.

I think that's where the misunderstanding is coming in from some posters. Trump is of (that) generation - Repressed as Fuck. All his quips about men being handsome, muscled and hung (e.g., Arnold Palmer) accompanied by other signs of mental decline, makes your theory plausible. Also when sexuality cannot be openly and honestly expressed, it many times leads to acting out with anti-social behaviors. But at this point, not even a video of him jacking off to a portrait of Hegseth would make any difference with MAGA.

I'd buy that for a dollar!!!

[Melon]

22. No. That was in the 40's when they had to keep up

Appearances to work.
Gay men are gay. Some are closeted for any numbers of reasons.

Dementia is very sad and can cause people to become violent when they were peaceful, boastful when they were humble, and act out sexually in any number of ways. It’s because their brains aren’t functioning correctly. Are you a doctor? Trying to assign illness to one political party is concerning. Many of us have dealt with this in our lives.

[ColoringFool]

25. All the times I've been to New Hope and never saw a movie star, demmit! .....

Lehigh Valley here.

[Kingofalldems]

13. Did you read the post?

[Polybius]

15. I know this isn't directed to me

But the OP's clarification in post 12 pretty much justifies Melon's response.

[PCIntern]

21. It most certainly does not

If you had a Venn diagram, you would have one circle of straight me who date beautiful women and a circle of gay men who, for their own reasons WHICH I CLEARLY ELUCIDATED, date beautiful women. The intersection would be the class of beautiful women. They EACH have their own reasons FOR DATING BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Clear now?

[Melon]

23. You stereotype both gays and straight men off of your own

Biased beliefs. Not everything is political. Doctor.

[PCIntern]

24. Stereotypes exist because they're accurate in many cases

This is not difficult to understand. If you want to disagree be my guest but understand that I am speaking from competence and experience.

[Melon]

30. I don't think so. You are just applying your biases

And then claiming they are accurate because you’re a doctor. You assign what you perceive as an insult to a right wing person ( being gay) and then find a narrative that supposedly makes that plausible.

Dementia changes a persons brain. They are not the same because of the disease and it’s disgusting how you are assigning reasons outside of the disease because you are experienced in spotting gays. No thank you.

[some_of_us_are_sane]

26. PCIntern didn't mean that at all....

just relating what happens in cases of "some" advancing dementia in "some" heterosexual men as well as in cases of PRIMARILY homosexual men who are trying to pass as heterosexual.

With Trump, it could be either.

(One thing that WON'T change.................his absolute stupidity.)

[PCIntern]

28. Thank you and true.

[Kingofalldems]

37. You forgot to mention

Trump rapes children. What do you call that?

[Ocelot II]

29. For what it's worth (and that might not be much), I wonder whether Trump's fixation

on strong, muscular men isn't so much because he has specifically homosexual desires that are now manifesting themselves, but because he admires "manliness" and wants to be seen as physically, aggressively masculine in ways that define masculinity for him (and for the likes of Pete Hegseth). He's obsessed with appearance - his and everyone else's, male or female. Apparently oblivious to or in denial of the fact that he's old, sloppy, and overweight, he often refers to himself as good-looking; he muses about whether he could defeat some athlete at whatever their sport is; he makes note of an athlete's muscles and comments a bit more obliquely about the size of a certain other male attribute. I know a lot of gay men, and they don't talk about other men in terms of how strong and tough they look, but more overtly sexual ("cute ass" or remarks to that effect). Trump is obsessed with the "manly" attributes of strength, aggression and violence. Some of his comments do seem homoerotic, but maybe they have more to do with his concerns abut his own masculinity, and now that he's lapsing into some form of dementia he's expressing those concerns more overtly.

[Maeve]

32. That seems reasonable

[PCIntern]

33. I agree with your overall...

I would point out that His Highness is not well-practiced in these matters and on top of that he’s a moron and was never skilled in repartee particularly when it comes to sexual matters. His pickup technique, and I heard this from a lady I dated not all that long ago, was that he would send over a drink to a woman and have the waiter/bartender proposition her for him : “the gentleman over there would like to make your acquaintance.” (She said absolutely not in her case). He’s a chickenshit twerp with zero class or suaveness.

He’s a closet case thru and thru.

[some_of_us_are_sane]

38. That's another very astute observation!

Hits the nail right on the head.

[indusurb]

36. Frankly I think what Trump gets off on is domination

Domination of everyone and everything in his orbit. Look at his relationships. Two of his three wives were illegal immigrants. His various affairs consisted of prostitutes, porn stars, children or women who needed/wanted his favor. All people he could dominate. I suspect this applies to male partners as well, and yes I think he's had a few of those as well. What's more domineering in his mind than taking some big muscle bound guy and bending him over.

Look at his language, always with the trope that some guy, big guy, strong guy, tears running down his cheeks when he approached Trump. Or how he constantly uses the language of domination when dealing with some group he perceives as opposing him.

Frankly I don't think Trump can get it up anymore, and I'm sure that frustration is now shaping his world and his actions. But that doesn't lessen his desire to dominate people. That's why you hear the derogatory, sexist and sexual language he uses. That's why you see him pawing at musclebound fighters, after all, if you can grab women by the p*ssy, why not do the same with men, it's all part and parcel of his same worldview, domination.

I don't doubt that his cheese is quickly sliding off his cracker, that's been obvious for years. But I don't think think that's what is driving his interest in big beefy guys. I think that drive has always been there, it's all part of the same overarching drive, domination.