Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Crashed out during yet another annual visit to Walter Reed this year?

Ruptured colon while shitting all over the military, service personnel, and Gold Star families?

Head simply popped due to distended jugular?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason at all?

[ornotna]

1. I'm picking door number four

I’m not picky, just impatient.

[Goonch]

2. ;-{) FATAL SPILL

[Grim Chieftain]

14. Why is no one applauding or cheering?

[SergeStorms]

15. It takes awhile....

for pure elation to register after years of captivity and torture. Think, "John McCain being released from the Hanoi Hilton."
The U.S. has been subjected to some of the worst mismanagement and downright dumbfuckery in the history of our country under Agent Orange. We'll all be numb to some degree. 😉

[niyad]

3. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[SheltieLover]

6. Soon...

Has to be, doesn't it?

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

[surfered]

8. Hoping for an encouraging sign from Walter Reed during his third visit in 13 months...

🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂

[malaise]

11. Please please

😀

[hlthe2b]

23. please, please, please and more for all those left waiting, waiting, waiting...

[Harker]

13. Please pardon my asking, niyad -- is it a Melchizedek?

[niyad]

18. I wish!!! However, my refrigerator would not hold it, and I certainly

could not lift it to pour!!! Even a jeroboam is a bit of a stretch!

[Harker]

19. Alright.

I thought maybe we'd get the answer to the ancient riddle of how many DUers it takes to lift a champagne bottle. 🍾

[niyad]

20. I believe there are several answers, based on the size of the bottle,

the size of the DU'ers, their state of fitness, and level of ongoing celebration!

[Harker]

21. It might take a platoon to get the cork out.

FOOMP!

[niyad]

22. Indeed!!! Although I am the designated bubbly opener when my

friends and I get together, there is no way I would even attempt that one!!!

[Harker]

26. If you hung on firmly, you might achieve low Earth orbit.

[dalton99a]

4. There is progress

(Kevin Dietsch/Getty)

[SheltieLover]

5. Not yet but with any luck the Grim Reaper will make this day memorable!

[hlthe2b]

7. Loud screams of distress emanating from Walter Reed where the Orange Menace is being examined...

But as SS rushes in, they find the cries are all coming from the examining physician-- overcome from the stench and disgust...Decontamination procedures commence as staff, patients and neighboring livestock react...

[Wicked Blue]

9. Y Can't He Croak, Y Can't He Croak?

Are there demons inside
keeping sh*tbag alive?

What infernal means of life support
can animate a living corpse?

Oh Y Can't He Croak?
I'm asking
Y Can't He Croak?

(you know the tune)

[malaise]

10. No but

He’s stopping by Walter Reed today and there are 19 days to the 80.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. Knock Knock

[surfered]

16. If only...

[LetMyPeopleVote]

25. Can you give me directions to Walter Reed?

Link to tweet

[malaise]

24. Bwaaaaah,

😀😀

[generalbetrayus]

17. Donnie gets pissed that his father did not show up for his wedding and he puts out a hit solicitation

among his Mafia buddies.

[Dave Bowman]

27. He got killed by all the skeletons in his closet.