BREAKING: Trump Deploys National Guard to Supreme Court

[BaronChocula]

Last edited Fri Feb 20, 2026, 02:28 PM - Edit history (1)

Following a 6-3 ruling that struck down donald trump's scattershot tariff scheme, the aged Floridian announced a deployment of the National Guard to the Supreme Court.

"This once great court so great, it was has become a very unpatriotic and unloyal group. Very disappointing. Controlled by rhinos and left-wing Democrat lunatics who have trump derangement syndrome because they're jealous of trump because we're doing great things. Very great things. With the ballroom. And winning elections. Every election including 2020, um 20. We won. We won that. So we're going to take over the elections to ensure elections are fair. Very fair. We need fair elections. So the National Guard is going in. They're going in to straighten things out. Make it clean. Clean it up. That's what... Such great uniforms look so good. And I'm gonna march over there with them. Ready? OK"

The 34-count felon then closed his eyes and drooled a little.

[dalton99a]

1. Noem is ordered to dispatch ICE

Cult members stand ready to defend leader

[Norrrm]

3. Yes! He'll send in his ICE goons for violence and authority.

After ICE shoots one justice in the head as they drive away, the others will fall in line.

And Noem standing by, holding her big gun.

???

[niyad]

2. You really should label this. Far too realistic.

[OneGrassRoot]

4. I'm really sad...

I’m having such a hard time navigating GD in the last year. So many posts like this unlabeled as sarcasm in heading or top of the post, so much AI, so many duplicates, and so many abbreviations and nicknames for regime members that I have to work too hard to know who is who. People use GD the most and I always looked forward to curating the days’ news a few times a day here. It’s less and less helpful in doing that and it genuinely makes me sad and I miss the days of old. lol.

It’s no one’s fault. Just a casualty of the batshit crazy moment we’re in.

[BaronChocula]

10. Didn't mean to be misleading

I figure my posts like this are recognizable as fake/humorous since they aren't in Breaking News and there's no link. I think I'm from the old school where if you have to label a joke a joke, it isn't a joke. But for the sake of where things are headed, I guess some break in convention is necessary.

[Disaffected]

11. Or not.

[OneGrassRoot]

14. I was just whining...lol

No reflection on you or your post. Just sharing my general experience of late which genuinely makes me sad, but not as sad as living under an authoritarian regime of course.

[vanessa_ca]

15. I just got home and catching up. I thought the title was real news.

For slow people like me, a /s would be helpful. Only because we live in batshit crazy times and have a deranged madman capable of anything at the helm. I wanna cry today. There's just been SO much to deal with these past months, and no hope in sight.

[MadameButterfly]

21. i totally bought it

Thanks for the added label.
I'm not familiar with you and this is the kind of thing he would say.
i usually check for "Borrowitz" or "Onion" when posts get too outlandish, but really, this sounded plausible to me.

Now that I know, it's a really good piece of humour.
Until he actually does it, which is not out of the question.

[Srkdqltr]

30. Certainly says how awful things are that we could believe it.

[MustLoveBeagles]

5. I got that it was satire

Still, you may want to add the Sarcasm thingy to your post

[BaronChocula]

9. Uggggh!

But I get it. I vet everything due to my cynicism, but I appreciate not everyone is like me (or you).

[MadameButterfly]

25. Honestly, we shouldn't have to vet it

your post should be accurate (or labelled). I'm not upset, just saying, speaking as a writer, you learn not to put it on your audience.

I got that the text said he was threatening to send the guard and the title was sensational, as titles often are, but it still seems plausible to me that he would say some of those things. Or that he will in the next stage of his dementia. Except for the guard to SCOTUS part, I think he's already said most of the other things in the post.

I kind of got my hopes up. Oh how great it would be if he actually threatened the courts that way.

[ColoringFool]

6. Sometimes The Parody Is A Bit Too Spot-On! ☺

[ruet]

7. I Knew just looking at the title that this was a satire post.

I had to click it just to make sure.

[Norbert]

8. No ICE will be deployed.

There will be special instructions by Krasvov to detain the female SC Justices.

[PeaceWave]

12. Not cool to even joke about this considering what almost happened in South Korea.

Democracy can die in an instant.

[MadameButterfly]

27. Yes. Once day this could be for real

It is so great that Korea did the right thing about their would-be dictator.

[belpejic]

13. "The 34-count felon then closed his eyes and drooled a little,"

"followed by the issuance of a long, juicy, particularly noxious fart, causing those around him to grimace, gasp, and silently retch."

[erronis]

22. The Offal Office is known as the "Gas Chamber" by visitors.

(The ones that survive.)

Is this *sarcasm* or not? Ask Schrodinger's Cat.

[Grim Chieftain]

16. Ha! Just don't give him any ideas.

[SSJVegeta]

18. Didnt read your comment before posting mine.

Great minds!

[Grim Chieftain]

26. It bears repeating!

[SSJVegeta]

17. Dont give him any ideas

...

[QueerDuck]

19. Oh, ha ha ha ha. So funny. Ha ha.

[milestogo]

20. No link.

[niyad]

28. Sarcasm tag was added.

[chouchou]

23. I'll be on the side of our Blessed President IF he calls them "The Big Beautiful National Guard"

[CatWoman]

24. LOL!!!

[Srkdqltr]

29. I understand that it's sarcasm. But things have been so stupid its not difficult to believe sadly.