The Borowitz Report-King Restores British Rule over U.S.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

King Restores British Rule over U.S.
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

— eugene (@eugene290390.bsky.social) 2026-01-09T12:25:58.165Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/king-to-restore-british-rule-over

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that was widely hailed across the free world, on Friday King Charles III of the United Kingdom reasserted British rule over the colonies formerly known as the United States of America.

“In recent days, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio and Stephen Miller have been advocating a muscular return to colonialism,” the monarch said. “I couldn’t agree more with those chaps.”

“We lost the colonies because our King went insane,” Charles added. “But now the shoe’s on the other bloody foot, isn’t it?”

As for what this change in status would mean for Trump, the King said, “Perhaps he could room with his old chum, my idiot brother.”

[Ocelot II]

1. It would be an improvement.

[SheltieLover]

2. At least they have universal healthcare!