A weird, violent encounter today. I need some counsel, please?

[herding cats]

I'm kind of venting, but mostly still in shock and need to talk. I hope it's ok.

My hubby and I went to Lowe's to buy some plants. I wanted some marigolds and purchased some rescues from their discount section. It was a fun and cheap afternoon. I adore discount plant rescues! We were so happy and decided to go get some early dinner.

We went to a local seafood restaurant and ordered a dozen peel and eat shrimp. My hubby ordered a beer and I had a water. We were thrilled to see an old and dear friend from 3 decades ago working there. So far it was an amazing afternoon!

Then it happened. Both my husbands eyes and mine were drawn to the windows (due to the movement) and a HUGE man was closed hand punching a woman. I knee jerk reacted and jumped up heading for the front door and the parking lot. My husband did the same and shoved me behind him as we hit the front door. I (stupidly) called out for the people inside to call 911. No one did, and I'd left my phone and purse inside. 911 was not called, but I didn't realize nobody had had my back.

This man, who was punching what I came to learn was his adult daughter who had dared to move away from him, was about 420lbs and 6'-7" tall. My hubby is 5'11" and like 220lbs. I, being much braver than I am smart, and super tiny compared to both of them, ran out there to save this lady being victimized. Dumb, dumb, dumb move. As my hubby screamed at me, I have a chemo port and if someone were to strike it, I could easily bleed out in moments. I wasn't thinking about that but just what I saw.

So, my hubby jumped in and basically came out a bloody piece of hamburger beaten by this jerk.

I screamed at the POS jerk I'd called 911 (true by this time) and that we were pressing charges on him to the fullest extent of the law. After which he jumped up, grabbed his wife and ran flipping me off and calling me names.

Now my husband says I need to watch my back for this jerk coming to try and harm me?!

I'm exhausted and not feeling overly sacred. Am I wrong here?

[Maru Kitteh]

1. Call the police. You won't live with yourself otherwise. We

cannot allow women to be beaten and just keep looking the way (as a society).


So much hugs to you You are NOT in the wrong.

[herding cats]

3. I did! I filed charges and had a deep heart to heart with the original victim.

I, too, came from a violent father and she and I spoke for over an hour.

I just don't feel like I'm need to be scared or worried about the pig of a father just because he gets to know who I am and where I live due to my formal complaint against him.

I mean, screw that man!

[Maru Kitteh]

9. Oh my gosh. You did SO MUCH GOOD today.

I’m so sorry for the trauma you’ve been through today but you did an incredibly important, and beautiful thing today.

You were an angel of justice today. Just an ordinary woman, doing the RIGHT thing.

[mucholderthandirt]

69. I'm glad you got to talk to the woman. It will help you cope with what happened.

You did a good thing, you and your husband. Thank you for standing up and risking your own persons. It had to be some scary stuff!

My mother had a chemo port, and she was always being told to be very careful of it. She is (I think) 17 years cancer-free, 86 and still going strong.

[Chasstev365]

2. So sorry you had this awful experience

Did you get the license plates of the prep?

[herding cats]

6. Yes.

And his name and address. He's screwed. As his vile ass should be.

[milestogo]

4. I would have just called 911 and skipped the confrontation.

You don't need to risk getting hurt. But no, I really doubt that person will come after you.

[herding cats]

10. You're a smart person.

My sweet hubby saved me from my violently abusive father. I think he reacted because he saw me knee jerking to save that girl. I know I shouldn't have, but I don't know how not to try and do what I did.

I'm still broken a bit I guess, but my poor husband was literally punched in the face for pulling the girl away. I feel so bad!

[Trueblue Texan]

47. It's hard to think strategically when your brain is overwhelmed with stress hormones...

...heroes never think about their own safety. That's why they often ride with saints, like your hubby. So glad you are ok. Your hubby will be ok. I bet if he had it to do over again, he would. I bet if it ever happens to you again, you'll have your phone with you, maybe, but you'll act as heroically as you did today. Thank goodness for people like you and your hubby who care about others. Get some rest, dear. You and your husband are going to be ok.

[Happy Hoosier]

16. Not sure I could stand by and watch the woman getting beat.

Maybe not the smartest move but I couldn’t do it.

[prodigitalson]

26. I would have field tested my stun gun on him

right in the fatty folds of his disgusting neck

it's legal to use force to protect another person just as it is to defend yourself.

[Dan]

5. Read something somewhere - all people share the same knees

Blow out his knees.

Having said that, I understand why your husband did what he did, but you really put your family at risk.

That is a big man - too big to fight, hand to hand.

[herding cats]

13. My hubby asked me what would I do if he'd have chafed me?

I said I'd kick him in his nethers and then his knees.

Truthfully, I'm a tiny little cancer patient and that's literally all I could do.

[pandr32]

8. Thank you for trying to help.

It is hard to understand how so many people don’t bother. I’ve suffered without anyone coming to help.
I hope you and your husband are okay. Don’t ever stop being a decent person.

[herding cats]

14. I've been her, too.

That's why I couldn't not intervene.

My heart to you. ❤️

[Skittles]

29. hey

there is no way in HELL I would ever not try to help someone in distress

I know because I have done it before.......people who don't do anything, THEY SUCK.

[herding cats]

33. Exactly!

All I cared about was her. As it turned out she's a new mommy. She has a less than 2 month old little girl.

We talked about what she wants for her daughter down the road and I explained about how I raised my daughter to not be a victim like I was as a child and how well she's doing now. I just hope it helped a tiny bit.

[Skittles]

39. very important to let people know when behavior is unnacceptable

and also they need to know some people do care

[stillcool]

11. you reacted on instinct

it's an admirable thing to help another person. And you didn't question it at all. Seems to me you're a brave, compassionate person, and you should give yourself major kudos. The guy doesn't know you, and you don't know him? He should thank his lucky stars he got away, and never want to cross paths with you again.

ah...I saw where you pressed charges and spoke to his daughter. That just makes you like rock star quality! Damn girl.

[herding cats]

28. You made me cry.

It's been a heck of a day and your kindness just hit me in the right feels.

My thanks to you! ❤️

[stillcool]

67. right back at you

[mzmolly]

12. I'm so sorry.

That sounds very traumatic.

I hope the SOB bully gets his comeuppance.

[herding cats]

37. Oh, he's going to pay.

It's like I told the victim (his daughter) no matter how her family tries to pretend he's not broken, I'm there with her and taking him to court for being a broken pos. I'm going to win and she's not wrong.

It is literally the very least we can do for her.

[mzmolly]

68. You're so kind.

I applaud your courage.

[róisín_dubh]

15. I'm sorry your husband took...

a hiding, but grateful for someone to have intervened.
Thanks, from someone who has to deal with the aftermath of domestic abuse victims

[Sympthsical]

17. A friendly tip

If you ever need someone to call 911, be specific. Pick an individual, make eye contact and gesture to them, and tell them specifically to call 911.

A crowd will often assume someone else is doing it. Talking directly to a person transfers responsibility. You’re more likely to get the action you need.

This is taught in crisis and CPR situations. I.e. “You call 911. You get the AED. I’ll start CPR.”

Humans work better and are more likely to act in chaotic situations when expressly given assignments.

(Even if you already know this, just wanted to toss it out there for anyone else reading).

[Alice B.]

18. Nothing to add but to say how much I admire you for your heart (okay, and here's to rescue plants, too!)

nt

[Cha]

19. Oh Cat... I''m so Sorry! You write it

so Vividly.. I Almost felt I was there.

How is your husband?

I've been wanting to contact you t see how you're doing by now, since you wrote your OP about what Meds you needed for the Cancer.

Love you

[herding cats]

41. Ah, Cha, I miss you so much!

My hubby is fine. He has a busted lip. Which is so abnormal for us we went to the urgent care. They said we may want to get stitches in it if it has issues. We're not brawlers. Lol!

Hey, I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm a fighter and if I'm going down for the final count I will make it a point to let the people I love here know.

Just because I'm not here as much right this moment due to my messed up life does not mean I care any less for my friends here. I still hold all of you in my heart exactly the same as ever before. Know that I still love you and think of you the same, Cha. ❤️

[Cha]

49. I Miss You! 💙💙💙 You are a

Fighter Cat.. there's hard evidence! And, you have a Precious husband who Helps you!

That Random Brawl you were in is So Surreal. I hope the Bully gets what he deserves.

Glad you came on DU to talk about it.. it really does help to be among Friends and talk it out.

I'm here, too.. any time. I'll never forget how much you helped me when my sister Mary passed on December 26, 2019
.. when I was in Shock.

[magicarpet]

20. The restuarant managers should have been told,...

.... that a very dangerous situation was transpiring in the parking lot of
their establishment and needed their immediate attention.

Then a 911 call should have been made by you and your husband to report the situation and request an investigating officer immediately - seeing this woman is being assaulted and badly injured.

Then if the restaurant manager or personnel went into the parking lot to address the situation. Following them with your phone and your husband's phone to ONLY VIDEO RECORD the event of the assault and the woman's Injuries. That is the limited role you and your husband should have taken so you did not subject yourselves to the wrath of this monster 400 lb mad man.

You do not want to wrestle a bull to the ground unless you have a few rodeos under your belt. The only result likely would be is you will be stampede and crushed into the dirt.

Very noble of you folks to come to the aid of that woman. But your level of involvement has left you with a nasty knot up to untangle.

Did your husband suffer any substantial injuries ? Did the police record your husband's and your involvement in the police report ? Were the police sympathetic to the plight of you folks ? Did they record your husband's injuries ? Did you record your husband's injuries and have you and your husband record an accurate synopsis of what happened on paper for future reference ? Did the police have you and your husband file an incident report about these events ? Have you contacted a lawyer to review your legal options ?

[Greg_In_SF]

21. Who initiated

contact between the two men?

[herding cats]

43. The contact was by my husband pushing him off of his daughter

She was on the asphalt being beaten by her father.

I then pulled her to safety and kept her from him as he tried to hit her. Then he turned to hitting my husband for removing her.

It was truly a horrible situation. Thankfully it was all on video and the police saw who was the assailant.

[Greg_In_SF]

52. I would fully expect

the woman beater will be charged for his crime. Your husband should probably just heal up, know he did the right thing as a caring human being, and let it go.

[malaise]

22. You're a good person

Last edited Fri Jun 13, 2025, 07:20 AM - Edit history (1)

[electric_blue68]

23. Thank you, and your husband for your bravery! I'm sorry your huband got hurt. Glad you got to....

talk to the daughter.

[Solly Mack]

24. I'm the same way. Can't just stand back and watch things like that happen.

I act first. All thought comes after.

I hope your husband is OK. That there are no lasting injuries.

I'm glad you helped the daughter. You showed her someone does care.

I'm sorry it happened to her and to you and your husband.

I'm glad you filed a report.

[Maeve]

25. God bless you and your instincts!

Yeah, folks will tell you it was foolish....they weren't there. (I did something equally crazy years ago; you do what your heart tells you to do)
Keep on the case and fear nothing.

[H2O Man]

27. You will be fine.

In fact, you are fine right now. You have processed this in an intelligent way. Yet, being human, there can be episodes where emotions rise up. And those can be good emotions when one has done something Good. And what's more, it will only be Good that defeats the negative force.

I think you are brave. And please tell your husband I said, "Great respect!"

[herding cats]

44. I will tell him

He deserves it.

[H2O Man]

50. He does.

I have been in the sport of boxing at all levels for over 60 years now. I understand fighting. What it takes. Your husband is an honorable man.

When I was in college long ago, a teacher missed class one day. The next class, he explained that he had spent a couple days in jail for getting involved when a brute was beating his child in a parking lot. He told our class that if we learned nothing else, know to intervene when such things are taking place.

[flashman13]

30. You need a restaining order against the attacker before the end of tomorrow.

[herding cats]

45. I don't even know their name.

Do you think it's that level?

My husband is inclined to feel similar.

[TommyT139]

31. If he hasn't already

...please have your husband contact his Dr to get checked out.

Was it wise to get in the middle? No -- but it was human, and perhaps a rare instance in the daughter's life of someone standing up for her. That single example can change a life, who knows.

[herding cats]

46. I took my husband to the ER

Just to have him checked out. He got a couple of stitches in his lip, but they think he's mostly ok.

My thanks to you for caring. ❤️

[TommyT139]

63. So glad!

[Marie Marie]

32. You tried to right a wrong - nothing wrong about that.

The people who were wrong were the ones who watched this happening and couldn't even be bothered to call 911. Shame on all of them.

[LoveSucky]

34. Your husband a real one for that

[MLAA]

35. You and your husband are amazing human beings. You made a real difference in the young woman's life and made the

bully run away. WELL DONE.

[hunter]

36. Sigh. That's exactly what my wife would have done and I love her for it.

Alas, I haven't always come out unscathed.

There will be justice in this world if we demand it.

[Phoenix61]

38. OMG! You were so brave! What a selfless thing to do. nt

[BlueKota]

40. I am sorry your husband got hurt.

It was very brave what you did. Hopefully the perpetrator will go to prison, and the daughter and you, will be safe from him.

[sakabatou]

42. One of the things my former martial arts instructor told me to do was stay out of harms way

I wouldn't have gotten physically involved, but I DEFINITELY would have called 911.

[ecstatic]

48. If he's let out of jail, his focus will be on killing his wife or daughter

He's dangerous but probably not a threat to you. Hopefully he's not released from jail.

But, if he steps out of line and even dares to come near you, maybe he'll have to FAFO. Don't show any mercy.

[HeartsCanHope]

51. How brave you both were! Sending you both hugs for helping that young lady.

Several police officers have told me domestic calls are the most dangerous. Still, I hope I would have reacted the same way.
We must look out for each other and you both saved that young lady a beating. I'm sure your husband said what he did out of fear for you. No wonder she left home! No one deserves to live in fear. Thank you, again, for stepping up for her. I hope she finds a safe place away from her father.

[Nululu]

53. You were very brave

I hope you'll be able to relax later.

[LoisB]

54. Heroes - the both of you. I hope that girl has enough guts to testify against her father and

that she tells her daughter the story of the day she was saved by two strangers. Blessings and healing to you and your husband.

[Mister Ed]

55. You are my heroine.

[Ohioboy]

56. Feel good that you helped! You would feel so bad if you hadn't.

Think of the regret you would have if you knew you could have helped but didn't.

[sheshe2]

57. I am so sorry, herding cats.

You were very brave as was your husband. You put yourself in danger, but you may well have saved her life. As you said, you have been there.

Thank you for standing for her when she could not. Please make sure that you take any and all precautions to protect you and yours. I truly hope he is made to pay for the assaults he committed today.

You are a shero to women everywhere.

Love and hugs, cats.

[usonian]

58. I *always* carry pepper spray (and I'm a male)

At home, there are real bears, so the heavy duty stuff is by the front and back door.

Please know the silent danger sign (not applicable in this case, but good to know)

[DFW]

59. Courage under fire (or equivalent).

Nothing but admiration!

[niyad]

60. Holding you both in the fiercest hug for being the brave, loving, kind people

you are. You may well have saved that young woman's life. Was it the smartest thing to rush in to help? Possibly not, but I would have done the same thing, and have, more than once. I simply cannot stand by and watch these abusive bullies.

Get the restraining order. Be vigilant. Continue being the wonderful people you two are.

Note: Because my nasty little mind works this way, I would be calling a friend of mine, one with some interesting, and useful, acquaintances, to pay this abusive monster an instructive visit. Sometimes it pays to "have friends in low places", as the song says.

[BigmanPigman]

61. Good for you!!!!! I would have done the same thing!!!

I am only 5' 1" and weigh 83 pounds (due to tRump stress...even my 2 doctors agree he is killing me slowly) and I would not be "thinking" I'd be reacting but that is a good thing, too.

If people did not confront evil violence and hatred head on at any given moment than you're not going to ever get respect from me!!! We all,have to stand up and fight back, women and men. Men are afraid of women since they know we ARE stronger than they are in most ways and they are weak whiners in comparison.

I applaud you and I respect your actions. We all need to do what you did every damn day.

[Hornedfrog2000]

62. Lucky all 3 of you werent murdered

This was incredibly unwise by you, and your husband. What if he pulled out a gun and shot all 3 of you?

Im a 6ft4" 280lb man and im not getting into an altercation with a 120lb man. Too many lunatics running around with guns. Call the police, and it takes on average 3 minutes to arrive. Use your heads next time. Running into danger is the first thing they teach first responders not to do, because then we are dealing with multiple victims, and a possible active shooter.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

64. How would he know where you live?

I don’t get it.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

65. I saw a guy beating up on his girlfriend at a party.

I told some guys about it and they stopped it. We called 911. The guy knew it was me who reported it and was yelling at me. I was screaming back at what a POS he was while he was being dragged away by the police. I probably wouldn’t have done that if I wouldn’t have been surrounded by a bunch of male friends and then the police. I was just lucky there were men there who were willing to help.

[OneGrassRoot]

66. Oh my gosh...

I have no advice beyond what others are saying but this brought me to tears. I could put myself in your shoes and would have done the same, chemo port and all. What a traumatic experience for you both, and the daughter. I'm so sorry your hubby was injured. Just awful! I send you both big hugs. Thank you both for doing the right thing, albeit dangerous.

[allegorical oracle]

70. So any news today?? Bet he's a prior offender and given your description of him he may

have a record. I'd be tempted to go to the police. The man sounds like he's a danger to the area. Kudos to you and your husband.